I`m feeling sad, hurt, and i hate to say this but the alone Samantha is back. I hate the way i feel and i`m being drawn back in too the alone circle. I feel like nobody can understand me, i miss my family of huge siblings. I can’t sleep at night,everything is so quiet and boring. At night i toss and turn until my muscles hurt.last night i when to sleep at 5:30 and my mother got me up and 11:00. I feel like if i talk too someone i always end up saying something wrong i even i hurt someone or even myself because of what i say. Ether way i say something wrong..so i`m trying not to say much. When i do have fun (with other people) i always end up screwing it up for the other people. If i stay away from other people then i feel alone. What do i do? At night i turn my music up loud but my dad comes in and tell me to turn it down. In the daytime i put on my headphones and draw. When people ask me stuff i answer then put back on my headphones before they can start a conversation, And when i`m “playing” outside i don’t talk unless i need to know something or someone asks me something. It’s not really bad but its getting there.UPDATE-
Reading-nothing
Music-Three Days Grace,12 Stones,Piller,Simple Plan,Rehab,and Bon Jovi is what I’ve been listening to on my music players.
Cothes-pretty much anything dark.My mom says that its a stage but i think not black is high in fashion today,i’m not much of a fashion person anyway but it helps you blend in.Some people call it rocker,or punk I call it me,I love wearing a cool black rocker tee and matching jeans.
Weather-sunny and hot sometimes rainy but great weather.I love rain and thunder storms.Plus who can not like a sunny day-best weather to skate broad.
Jewl’s and makeup-nothing other than some cool handmade bracelets and a cross necklace from a friend go on my body-oh and the ocasional rings(I don’t have ears holes…yet)and I dont wear any makeup onless you consider toe nail polish and chap stick makeup.
there ya go full update on me!
well reader gotta go we are having a cookout and i have too help cook…
Love Ya-Samantha
