I LOVE THIS SONG #5

F.F.D.P.
“Hate Me”

It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)

It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(F-CK YOU)

[Verse 1:]
I don’t want to be your tourniquet
For minor lacerations
Don’t wanna be your Romeo
Because you’re no Go-damn Juliet
(you always did know just what to say; insult and injury)
(YOU JUST LOVE TO HATE ME!)

[Chorus:]
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)

It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(F-CK YOU)

[Verse 2:]
You’ve got a gun
I’ve got a gun
Let’s write a tragic ending
Don’t wanna be this way again
Don’t wanna be the one to blame
(you can have the high roads; I’ll take I, disguise the frailty)
(I JUST LOVE TO HATE YOU!)

[Chorus:]
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)

It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(F-CK YOU)

[Outro:]
(YOU JUST LOVE TO HATE ME!)
It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never had the chance to thank you
(FOR RIPPING OUT MY HEART)

It’s not enough
It’s not enough
It never was or will be
I never got the chance to say
(F-CK YOU)

I LOVE (LIKE) THIS SONG #4

Flyleaf
“I’m So Sick”

I will break into your thoughts
With what’s written on my heart
I will break, break

I’m so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I’m so sick
I’m so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you’ll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I’m so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I’m so sick
I’m so sick

Hear it, I’m screaming it
You’re heeding to it now

Hear it! I’m screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I’m so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I’m so sick
I’m so sick

I’m so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I’m so
I’m so sick
I’m so
I’m so sick

I love this song #3

Okay this is another Disturbed song -I REALLY LOVE THIS BAND!-

“The Night”

What has come over me
What madness taken hold of my heart
To run away, the only answer
Pulling me away
To fall upon the night
The source of my recovery
Sweet shadow taking hold of the light
Another day has been devoured
Calling me away, begging the question
Why

For saving me from all they’ve taken
Letting my armor fall again
Giving me the strength to face them
Feeling it taking over now
On a path to take it all away
There can be no better way of knowing

[Chorus]
In a world beyond controlling
Are you going to deny the savior
In front of your eyes
Stare into the night
Power beyond containing
Are you going to remain a slave for
The rest of your life
Give into the night

This self discovery
Redemption taking hold of my mind
A serenade of haunting voices
Calling me away
To feast upon the night
So much felicity
Dark maiden taking hold of my hand
Lead me away from hibernation
Strong and unafraid
Never a question why

For saving me from all they’ve taken
Letting my armor fall again
Giving me the strength to face them
Feeling it taking over now
I’m about to take it away
There can be no better way of knowing

[Chorus]
In a world beyond controlling
Are you going to deny the savior
In front of your eyes
Stare into the night
Power beyond containing
Are you going to remain a slave for
The rest of your life
Give into the night

[Guitar Solo]

Give in to the night

[Chorus]
In a world beyond controlling
Are you going to deny the savior
In front of your eyes
Stare into the night
Power beyond containing
Are you going to remain a slave for
The rest of your life
Give into the night

Night Night Night
Give into the Night
Night Night Night
Give into the Night Give into the Night

Typical Junoir High – Finally

B.T. boy finally started talking to me again. . . Well heres today

Gym – Me, B.T. boy, M.M. girl, Too Smart, Hyper chick, and Ashley sat together in the gym. B.T. boy poked me twice and talked to me about things that are unusual for him to talk about . . . .like some pop/hip hop singers like Maria Carey`s song touch my body – he likes that song now, he usually hates pop music, and listens to rock like me. I think his girlfriend has changed him. Then he I thought he was going to talk about making out with his girlfriend or something he knows will make me uncomfortable, he showed me his library book, it was the first book of the maximum ride series. I just said “oh thats a good book i have read the whole series” even though i wanted to cry for some reason, i`m not even sure if he believed me about reading all of the books. I guess i wanted to cry because i love that book and i think of it a something personal to me?. . . great i`m fucking crying now . . Everyone who is reading this i will let you know i am listening to sad music like Avril Lavigne-when your gone, or Rehab-it don’t matter, and the main Maria Carey-touch my body and writing this is making me, Sam the cry-baby cry. Anyway when he was talking to me i didn’t show i was sad. Then he said “Hey Sam, guess what? I have on camouflage pants.” as i looked down i said “Holy shit thats crazy! I was planing on wearing mine tomorrow!” then he looked at me like i was dumb and said “Yea right you probably don’t have any, you`ll lie and tell me you forgot to put them on or something.” Then i really wanted to cry . . . but i didn’t. I don’t know if he was having a bad day or he just didn’t notice what he was doing to me, but i know i didn’t really like it.

First peroid – I started to cry in class(about B.T. boy)so my teach let me sit out in the halls for a few minutes.

Second peroid – My friends are so great to me we were doing a group project thing. They noticed i wasn’t having a great day so they let me sleep my problems off, or for a little while. And wrote down the things i was supposed to be doing on my paper. Sometimes i don’t know what i would do without them . . .

Lunch/Outside – I fell asleep at lunch, and outside Me and my friends cheered on B.T. boy as he was playing soccer(We were on the track) B.T. boy only said “hey Sam” to me as he was going in so cool. I still like him because as usual i was happy to be around him. Then me, teardrop, and SamanthaF. rolled down the steepest, bumpiest hill. We had fun . . .

Third peroid – I couldn’t concentrate on my work(this goes for all my classes) my mind kept creeping back to B.T. boy .

ELECTIVES

First – we had a substitute teach and all we did was watch a episode of Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe off of the discovery channel. I had already saw it so i slept though it, sleep calms me down a bit, which was what i thought i needed for art, with B.T. boy.

Art – all i did was sit there while me teacher was talking to the class about. . . ? I know it was something i already knew. B.T. boy didn’t say anything to me until the end of class he said “hey Sam”.

Gym – When my bus line was heading for the door Ashley and some of my other friends waved to me when i was next to their line. Then for the first in a in a while, B.T. boy waved to me. Not me waving to him, i waved back, and even though he was kind of well you know in the morning this was still a BIG boost to my day. . .

. . .catch ya next time

Samantha, the cry baby

Typical Junoir High – *SIGHS* “So . . . Tired . . .”

Well my day was okay  . . .

Gym – B.T. boy talked poked me and talked to me for about 1 to 2 minutes . . . not like i was counting or anything . . . SIC i`m just kidding about the counting stuff i hate numbers.

First and Second peroid – Boring . . .

Track – Ashley said that Basketballboy is gay. I don’t really believe her because he has a girlfriend, and he used to date one of my friends . . . so yea. I can’t believe i`m saying this but Soccerkid (Noah) can clean up nice, I was surprised that he was playing basketball instead of soccer. Lets see he was wearing a white long sleeved shirt under a black DC shirt with dark jeans and as always skater shoes. Hes a good Basketball player too. No i don’t have a crush on him i just think he looks good. I was surprised also because both me and him wore i long sleeved shirt under a short sleeved shirt, none of the girls do that, so everyone was surprised . . .but thats me . . . original and random. Anyway we got to stay outside longer because my friend K.L. cut his head and had to be rushed to the hospital. . . i hope he is okay. And some girl lost her glasses so we all had to spread out and find them . . . nobody did. . . i bet her mom is pissed . . .

third peroid – BORING . . .

ELECTIVES

First – Soccerkid(Noah) kept staring at me . Then whenever i got up he would strain his neck to look at my ass . . . freaky . . . .

Second – I had the jackass substitute teacher : (  Everyone at my table and everyone i know said that my self portrait was the best in the class. Then Ms. P. came by and pointed out what was wrong, what i was fixing . Then she had the nerve to take my pencil away from me and erased what i was doing to fix it. She spoke to me so loud you could hear it from across the room so everyone heard. I thought i was pissed until she went over to a guy at my table who had drawn a stupid ass smiley face, you want to know what she did. . . She patted his shoulders and said “That looks great! Keep up the good work!” I thought i was going to blow up right then and there, sad and angry which is a bad combination for me because i usually end up cussing someone out, storming out of the room like a uncontrollable Monster, then regreting it all. But all my friends said that she was just being bitchy, so just relax, and re-draw what she erased. Oh and not only that but when she was “helping” me she pulled back my hair, and touched my face, I really was about to cry because i really don’t like anybody near or mainly touching my face . . . its like being tortured . . . . it scares the shit out of me, It ALMOST as bad as – Me being forced to listen to Hannah Montana plus the Jonas (jo-ass) brothers at the same time, while my eyes are taped open forcing me to look at clowns, all while being in a all pink mental hospital in a all pink strait jacket . . . My worst Nightmare . . . . . okay now i`m afraid of my imagination . . . . *crys to self  while curling up in a ball rocking back and fourth* “Helpp mee” *lips quivering* “Ummmm . . . . .um . . . . .help. . . .” *hums to self*

Samantha

Typical Junoir High – awesome!

Okay today was FuN!! I had a great time at school. Heres what happened . . .

Gym – As i was walking down the bleachers to go to my first peroid i jumped off the last step happily. My jeans went underneath my shoes – making me fly up in the air do a back flip. I felt my finger tips brush the ground just about a second before i was on the ground. I landed softly on my elbow and ass i have two bruises because i fell leaning on my left side but they aren’t that bad- And Right in front of the teachers!.Anyway i looked up after i landed and everyone`s jaws had dropped to the floor, And they were saying to their friends “Dang”, “Oh My God!” or “Are you alright?!?” I was perfectly fine, But the teachers said “Samantha! Are you okay?” as one offered me their hand. I got up in a flash “Yea i`m fine, but that was so fun! I want to do that again!” i replied. Their panicked face’s turned to ether smiling or laughing. I was fine as i walked to my first peroid. As i opened up my locker i looked at my pictures of Justin (my brother) i looked back and a group of girls were behind me. They said almost all at once “who’s that? Is he your boyfriend? How old is he? Can i have his phone number?!?Where does he live?” I threw my hands up in the air to get them silent and i said “Calm down! He is my brother Justin, He lives 16 hours away, Hes 18 and is about to go in the army! And No you can’t have his phone number.Anymore questions?” They Shock their hands no and whispered “Gosh hes cute! I don’t care how old he is i want his phone number!” I was laughing to myself as i shut my locker door.

First period  – Boring math which i`m not getting. . . .

Second period – Boring

LUNCH/TRACK – On the track i was tired so i just laid on one of the pick nick tables till we had to go in. B.T. boy’s class wasn’t out there.

Third Period – Boring but as i went to go get my things out of my locker their were a group of girls behind me looking at Justin’s Pictures – oh and a note Justin a bunch of girls have came up to me saying “tell him i said hi and he’s really cute” or hot or sexy . . . each one is different but they say something along these lines.

ELECTIVES

1st – Okay

2nd – Great! I sat there and stared at B.T. boy – he didn’t notice – Heres the new things i`m doing . . . Whenever i see something/someone i like i move my tounge rapidly across the top of my mouth. I`m not sure why, but it makes my mouth tickle .So i`m making my tounge dance. Hey isn’t that on a song by flyleaf -all around me . it says – My tounge dances behind my lips for you.I just noticed that! And the other thing i`m doing is Instead of saying here, hello, hey or any word that begins with H E i`m saying it as ere(ear),ey (a), and ello(LO) i`m not sure why i thought it was cool.But tear drop said that B.T. boy does it so i have to stop – but i don’t wanna

GYM/BUSES – As i was getting in my bus line i was trying to get my back pack on my back with one hand -why : because my right hand was full. It wouldn’t go on my back so out of no where i shouted “HOLY SHIT!!” i looked in front of my and there stood the principal looking right at me! I covered my mouth and said “Oh my god i`m sorry” she just said “Its okay. Just try to watch your mouth okay?” i shock my head yes as i boarded my bus.Thats how i like it – me and the teachers/staff are cool even when i don’t hardly know them they will be cool with me and they talk to me all the time saying “hey whats up Samantha” and stuff like that. so i`m totally cool with them. . .

gtg in a hurry- catch ya later

Samantha

For my birthday – its going well

Okay at school only3 people said happy birthday to me but i`m cool with that. heres what happened at school

Track – i was in the rarest mood ever – or at least for me – I WAS HAPPY!!!!!!*horror scream* yea i know its a shocker. . . .

3rd peroid – some guy came up to me and punched me in the shoulder. . . so i said “Hey Chris can you look at me for a second?” as soon as he turned around he was down on the ground crying saying “Oww my fucking knee.” so i replied with “damn guys are wimps” still down on the ground he said “Girl you better shut your mouth before i hit you again” i was laughing saying ” i dare you to because if you do a second later you`ll be on the ground clutching your nuts” everyone was say “Ohhh man” or “you better be glad she didn’t knock you out” and all my friends were saying “Damn Samantha, Chris i don`t think you wanna mess with her.” for some strange reason I`m liking this school . i`m not preppy i am still who i am and since i was home schooled i`m more mature than other kids so they think i`m cool. Plus even people i don’t know know me so i will be walking down the halls and everyones like “Hey Samantha!” So i`m liked , I fit in, I`m not a prep but i`m still popular,and mostly everyone likes me and the ones who don’t are skany preps that envy me.

I didn’t talk to B.T. boy much or None other than two “Hey`s” that he started.but he did poke me once and in the gym i was watching him he like any other guy who was trying to act cool slowing turned his head every five minutes and waved at me – he did this A LOT!!!!!!!!Scary!

Samantha – Its my birthday peoples – no party or anything i`m just chilling at home >!.>!.>!.>!.>!.(as you can see i`m bored)

Okay

Yea okay so i will just get on with this – every since i told B.T. boy that i like him he has been acting strange around me like i said he moved in art so i barely talk to him anymore and hes practically avoiding me  well somewhat now the only time i speak to him is outside on the track and the all he does is when hes going inside he will poke me or say whats up? i will sometimes talk to him in the halls but nothing much. then in art all he says is hey . But on Thursday something weird happened he said my name like three times until i looked up at him then all he did was wave at me and say hey Samantha. well heres a good idea of what happened on friday . . .

Track – he poked me then left i didn’t even talk to him

art – his head was on the table and he didn’t talk to anyone.

Halls – i saw him with his book bag heading for the office. He was looking down and was all sad. So i asked him “_____ whats wrong?” he said “I’m not feeling good” he didn’t even look up when talking. He was just slowly walking staring at the ground. That was the last time i saw him i can’t get that image out of my head. When i was looking at him all i wanted to do was go give him a hug, Talk to him and make him feel better. somewhat like he did when i was feeling bad. When i think about him i see his back turned walking down the halls – it makes me sad seeing him like that hes usually so happy.

Gym at bus lines -  B.T. boys girlfriend kept staring at the door (her line was right next to mine) as if he was going to walk in at any moment  at this time i was thinking – HAHA bitch his not here now i don’t have to be tortured by watching you to talk and see you give him that “oh i`m so glad your mine” look. And its great to see you in pain. I thought she was going to cry her and her soft ass. I know that shes soft because B.T. boy told me she cried when he got off the bus – i told he “I hate softy`s like that” he said “i would rather have someone who’s soft and girly than have a girl who doesn’t have a emotion”. I was thinking – what does that mean. Is he trying to say i have no emotion? I don’t think he was talking about me because when i`m around him i laugh i smile and i act like i`m having the time of my life as a matter of fact I have caught myself when i`m around him thinking – This is great. Is in like awesome.

wondering about B.T. boy  thinking if hes okay- Samantha

Typical junior high-Guys . . um ok here we go . . .

Okay i`m sorry for not blogging about school in a while .i`m sure theirs some way i can-not catch up(i`m in a sarcastic mood . . . wait i`m always in that mood . . . )Okay just to let you know about some things – B.T. boy no longer sits at my art table : ( why- i think he moved because of me but he asked to be moved so i HARDLY talk to him anymore.I only see him in the morning, lunch, outside(on the track), in art, and in the halls. I don’t talk to him in the morning(other than a couple times).lunch i can’t talk to him, outside he at least comes and says hey to me when leaving everyday and makes some physical contact( not i big deal Justin just poking, messing up my hair, and others).in art he at least says hey everyday and makes some physical contact.and in the halls if we see each other we USUALLY talk to each other even just a hey or whats up but mainly he sneaks up behind me and pokes me or does the hands on shoulder and whispers my name or shouts it – making me jump.Yea Justin you don’t need to come here and kick his ass he hasn’t done anything to me and i`m guessing you told Josh and Dylan about him right . . . .thought so.Okay and their is someone new in this Blog – William, yes another guy Justin ,but he is just a friend – or at least i thought so until today . . . anyway his blog name is . . . . is . . . . .ummm . . . okay . . .umm . . . . . .Basketballboy. . .

Gym in moring- BORING

1st-2nd-and third peroid- BORING

lunch – Basketballboy just came up to me and talked to me alot. . . for the first time other than a simple hey.

Track-basketball court – Basketballboy tried to teach me how to throw a basketball and make a shot with his girlfriend right there-SHE WAS PISSED!!!And he knew it because she came up to him and said “How come your helping her, i was here first, and your only throwing the ball to her” he said something like “I’m just trying to help her” and while she was there he ALMOST got behind me to show me where to place my hands when throwing the ball. . . awkward(but it was worth it to see his preppy girlfriend jealous)then while we were playing basketball i left and went to the pick nick tables by teardrop i got on the top and laid on it the B.T. boy`s class was going in so when he past us he came up behind teardrop and poked her – she jumped. Then with me still laying down he almost did SOMETHING to me but i jumped up and said “Don’t even think about it _____” then when i was off my guard he poked me and made me twitch. Which is his goal because i hardly ever twitch when he pokes me, its not him i`m just mostly on my guard.Then after he , and Basketballboy`s girlfriend left i went back to the courts where it was just me, Ashley, and Basketballboy. Which all Ashley did was watch him try to teach me and all me shots where bricks. He kept placing his hands on the ball over mine to show me where to put them but i kept getting bricks. . . . Weird . But i can’t wait to see Jenaleys face tomorrow( i wonder what he will do then) oh and yes Justin thats who i`m ALMOST positive who he goes with – i`m not sure but they act like it maybe she just has a bad crush on him.but yes this is the same girl who cam to our house and stalked Josh so he had to lock himself in his bedroom.Anyway we went inside and all my class`s from then until art where Boring!

ART- As we all know B.T. boy was there. he didn’t do anything other than say “whats up Samantha and  come up to me and act like he was going to poke me but really mess up my hair. He likes to mess around with me so don’t freak out Justin i your littlest sister is doing just fine on her own believe it or not.And yes guys do mess around with my at school but theres a main five the good are – B.T. boy , Basketballboy, and Noah then the bad are Josh and Dragon .

You know what B.T. boy and Basketballboy do, nothing extreme. and Noah , i`m pretty sure he likes me (one of his friends came up to me and said noah likes you then later he said “what did  _____ say to you?” i told him i wasn’t paying attention and don’t know the he said “WHATEVER HE SAYS ITS NOT TRUE” in a panicked look)and all he does so stand up for me, and make sure josh keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t mess with me and say stuff to hurt me.

then Josh just says stuff about me like “whispers” shes a _____ or I don`t care about her because _____- in the blank spots he gets quiet and says it in a low voice to where i can’t hear him but i don’t really give a shit about him so . . . .then dragon is just they most annoying freak that everyone hates- and he likes me- and the other day he told me to lick him so i said “Fuck no i`m not lick you and your freaky self” and since he likes me he didn’t tell the teachers. . . . . so there you go Justin and if you want to know more comment me (that goes for all)

-Samantha

I LOVE THIS SONG!!! – #2

Yea i like a bunch of songs. after all i LOVE rock but heres a great CHRISTAIN song! hope you enjoy it – its by T F K – its called favorite disease

its mostly music just to let you know

Wanting, watching, debating, on which way to run to, haunted, voices, craving, someone to run
to, i haven’t lost myself in a long time, i never tried to care when i wanted to, i just want
to be part of something, i just want to be real like you

[Chorus]
Sometimes, i feel like a monster, and times, ifeel like a saint, i’m on my knees, you’re my
favorite disease

Silent, warnings, tell me, that i’ve let things come, undone, show me, teach me, the way to
heaven, cause no other way can, i havent lost myself in a long time, i never tried to care when
i wanted to, i just wanted to to be part of something, i just wanted to be real like you

[Chorus]

Closer, closer, closer to you, i need to be closer, i have closure, and get closer to you,
every step i take…

[Chorus]

And i love the way you kill me, love the way you heal me, i love the way you kill me, love the
way you heal me, i love the way you kill me, love the way you heal me