1) Song: Dyers Eve,  Artist: Metallica

Dear Mother
Dear Father
You Clipped My Wings Before I Learnt to Fly
Unspoiled
Unspoken
I’ve Outgrown That Fucking Lullaby
Same Thing I’ve Always Heard from You
Do as I Say Not as I Do

2)  Song: Hey You, Artist: Pink Floyd

Your pops caught you smoking and he said, “No way!”
That hypocrite smokes two packs a day
Man, living at home is such a drag
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted!)
You gotta fight, for your right, to party!!!!!!

4) Song: And Justice For All, Artist: Metallica

I can’t believe,
I can’t believe the price . . . we pay.
Nothing can save us.
Justice is Lost.
Justice is Raped.
Justice is Gone.
Pulling your strings,
Justice is Done.

5)Song: Let The Flames Begin, Artist: Paramore

What a shame we all became, such fragile broken things,
A memory remains, Just a tiny spark,
I give it all my oxygen, to let the flames begin,
So let the flames begin..

6)Song: Enough, Artist: Disturbed

When you’re own have died,
When there’s no more pride,
When your soul is frozen,
Is that enough?
When your heart is broken,
A thousand times,
With every moment,
Is that enough?

7) Song: Just Can’t Win, Artist: 10 Years

I just don’t know,
How To Win,
(how to win)
With You!
And I can’t let go,
Part of me…Is you.

8)Song: From The Red, Artist: Distroy The Runner

Is hopeless love all we have?
Is this what we dreamed?
I can’t let go.
Take this heart and let it die slow.
Tear away from the pain.
Tear away from the red.

9) Song: Alone Inside, Artist: Scars Of Life

Face down,

With No place to hide..

and my eyes burn,

Because I’m alone inside.

10)

Like the dead rising from an open grave,

Lips of splendor and tongue of deceit,

All is dying now as our fragile wrist hold only waste,

Like those gasping for their last breath,

We can not hide theres nothing left.

1) Confused

I love you.
I hate you.
I can’t make up my mind.
Your a jerk sometimes,
Yet your nice inside.
I don’t know what to do,
I’m so confused.
If you died, I wouldn’t cry.
Yet if you left,
I’d scream your name,
Till you came back.

2) Mystery Boy

You make poems,
And put them in his locker,
He thinks their from me.
He finds out its from you,
And he reads them constantly,
And smiles in class.
You and him talk, laugh, flirt,
And for some reason,
I feel bad.
He talked to me before,
All this happened,
And now he barely does.
Yet, still, I feel bad…
For what reason,
I do not know…
Am I attracted to him?
Who knows.

3) Why?

Never the question, why,
But why?
Why, would you do such a thing?
Its so dangerous,
Yet you survived,
Lucky one,
Yet why?
Why, would you do that?
What means more than your life?
Nothing.
Thankfully, You survived.
If you didn’t,
I wouldn’t know how to say goodbye.

4) Ashamed

Ashamed,
Of what, you ask,
I made my best friend,
feel like dirt.
The guy that she loves,
loves me.
And she knows.
I hate myself.
I feel like I could die.

5) Falling Dream

The falling feeling
I keep Falling
Did someone push me?
Did I jump?
The questions run through my head vibrantly,
I keep falling,
I open my mouth to scream,
But then I jump up in my bed,
To find it was only a dream.

6) Scream Of Silence

I stand outside

All alone,

The night time,

Theres no sunshine.

I feel the light wisp of wind.

I hear the scream of silence,

It yells,

It shouts,

I freak out,

And yet nobody there,

And there’s nothing to hear.

Other than my hearing the silence so loud.

It screams and burns in my ears,

It’s a delightful, yet frightful sound.

Anywayz! i just wanted to say that I am also happy, cuz.. I HAVE LOTZ MORE VEIWERS OF MY BLOG!! Thank you guyz!! and the people that I know – I love you! And Brandie Cotton Candy, I miss you, and I love you lots!!! I miss you more than krazi! I miss you like peanut butter missed jelly!!!

I just wanted to do a small little post, saying that I wasn’t sick anymore (Hopefullyz I won’t jinx it) and that I am VERY happy for all of the peoplez that have been on my blog and commenting. Some of the only reasons I do this is because A) I’m Bored, And B) because I want to hear what other people think of my life. X D

~The weak to follow the lead
It’s taking over our lives
As we live, as we die

| Saints   by   Destroy The Runner~

Sam

So she did, but she had my brother and his two friends with her, because they didn’t have school that day, so she took them out for a fun day. She was taking my brothers friends home, before we actually got home. I threw up at least seven times before we got home. I felt horrible, throwing up in front of my brothers friends. But once we got home, I ran into the nearest bathroom and threw up, and got diherria (I know, gross) for about two to three hours. My friend came over and gave me back my cell, since she is in walking distance of my house. Then, When I could finally lay down correctly without puking or having nastiness coming out of the other end, I laid down, and then I still puked a little. I would go to sleep for about half a hour to a hour, then I would wake up and throw up, then I’d pass out again. And it would repeat. That happened, until about…maybe 12:00. It sucked. Then I woke up today, feeling like I got ran over by a truck, or got kicked in the stomach, back, and the head, By a horse. I stayed on the couch all day, other then to use the bathroom, or when I took a bath. Oh, and I puked once around 11. So you can tell that these last few day have been great.

~He’s got crazy flipper fingers

Never seen him fall

That deaf, dumb and blind kid

Sure plays a mean pinball

|Pinball Wizard  by  The Who~

By the way! – The Who, Is playing during halftime at the football super bowl on Febuary 7th 2010!! Yay! I’m going to watch it just for The Who!!!

Sam

So yeah, my science teacher is the director, and Cody told her that I was going to do tech crew, but then I decided not to, and she said that I should to it, and that I need something to do outside of school and that I need to come out of my shell. Well! I’m sorry Nikki, but I like my shell very well, and I have decorated it nicely, and if you want to get to know me more, then you will not make me com out of my shell, but you shall come into my shell! and never return!!! haha Just kidding, but still as I was saying, I love my shell. It protects me.And I love it very much. X D

~Casting a cool breeze,
supplied by the Autumn.
The Question : where it went wrong?
|The Autumn Effect  by  10 Years~

Sam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSoHaP6IfkI

~and the sounds of bodies crashing echoes through the night – Its Myself Verses Being A Man by Inhale Exhale~

Reading – I have been reading nothing.

Music – Classic rock, and Rap (you: *gasps!!* ~~~Me: its not that bad!!) and a little bit of metal.

Clothes – Pretty much anything dark. My mom has gotten used to it and doesn’t mind anymore. I love it!! (Me : oh snap! Thats a rap song! *Gonna ride till I die, oh and I love it! Yeah! And I love it!*)

Weather – Mixed, one day it will be totally hot, next it will be raining and then the next it will be chilly. . . . Thats September for you.

Jewelry – nothing much, I always wear a arrow head necklace that my awesome sister Brandie gave to me. Sometimes I will wear my black cross necklace, or my peace necklace. I will wear fingerless gloves or arm warmers if they go with my outfit. and I wear the ring that my mom gave to me every once in a while.

and Make up – On the weekends I will wear some foundation and eye liner, nothing special, Right now my lips are really chapped, so I always have a chap stick on my pocket. And momma is letting me paint my fingernails black now, so I usually have black finger nails.

Other than that nothing really has been going on. Joshua (My awesome brother) will be coming home in about two weeks for a few days.

____I wrote a note to myself before I fell asleep last night. It said –

“Take a very deep breath, In, Out, In Out. Walk up to the school, Take more deep breaths. Think about nothing but seeing your friends. Ignore everyone else, but them and your teachers. Your in eighth grade now, The highest grade in the school, Nobody can stop you but yourself. If you freak out, just take very very VERY deep breaths and think about how soon you’ll be home. Its only 7 hours, whats the worst thing that could happen????”

Last nights theme song – YOUR GONNA DIE TOMORROW by Puddle Of Mudd

And well, I guess I should have knocked on wood when I said “Whats the worst thing that could happen????” Because as soon as I got into the car with Cory (Cassidy – her mom drove me to school) I freaked out. I kept it under control for the most part, but once we got into the building we were about to step in the gym until I remember “Oh shit, Cass, I forgot to put hairspray in your hair!” I was going to put some spray in Cory’s hair and fix it. We turn around to go to the bathrooms. But we get stopped in the hall by Principal-Crack-Head. “Where do you two think your going!?!?” She asked.

“Bathroom. . . ” Cory spoke.

“Nope, Its not happening. and take off those gloves!” She shouted while pointing to my brand new black and red striped fingerless gloves.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Seriously young lady! I don’t want you giving me any crap, I will not take back talk! This is my school! Take off the gloves!” She shouted. The bitch left after I took off the gloves, as soon as we looked through the gym doors, Cory freaked. She tore her hair down, and shoved the clip in her book bag. We almost ran through the gym into the bleachers, feeling everyone staring at us. We sat next to our friend Death-Boy. He and Cory started talking, and I felt like the third wheel. I pushed the gloves back on my hands, and noticed alot of people were looking at me. I tore my new black DC hoodie out of my book bag and Put it on, zipping it up a little, then pulling to hood over my head, then I put my feet on the bleacher in front of us, and rested my arms on my legs and my head on my arms. We waited for Tobi (Thats a girl!) Cold-Blood, and Yoda to come. We said our hellos, and gave each other hugs. Yes I can actually talk to people!!! I actually talk a lot in school, even to the adults. I guess the surroundation of teenagers my age around is comforting. Anyway, all was good, until two, identical, TWINS came up and sat right in front of us. They both had the new “Emo” hair cut,

( NOTE FOR ELDERLY : Emo is were people -like me and my friends- are always depressed, wear mostly black, and always look sad, write a lot of poetry and stuff)

Yet, the twins hair, was bleached blonde, and the wore almost the same white and pink hollister shirt

( NOTE FOR ELDERLY: Hollister is a brand of clothing that the preps wear. The preps and emos are opposites)

With light blue skinny jeans

(NFE : Preps wear A, Either the light blue skinny jeans, or B, the brightly colored skinny jeans, When we, the emos, wear the black skinny jeans. Or bell bottoms)

and rainbow Flip Flops. AHHHH!!!!! I almost screamed. I nudged Cory and pointed to the new preps.

“What the fuck?” Cory, Tobi, Death-Boy, and Cold-Blood said at the same time. I shrugged.

The day moved on, I found out I have the same teacher for Four different subjects!! Homeroom, Reading, Social Studies, and Enrichment. Ms. Nelson. I hope she isn’t to bad. For enrichment I was told to stay in her class, So I just stayed in my seat. Then I to watch the people coming in. . . My heart raced when I saw Brett, or (nickname) B.T.boy, come in.

He looked like he was considering sitting with the “Gangsters”, But there was only a few seats left. One of the few was the seat right in front of me, Which he ended up sitting in. I freaked out and leaned as far back as I could in my chair and shrinking down into my seat until I was practically laying on my back. The teacher called the roll, and him, along with a few others, just so happened to be in the wrong class.

I worshiped god in my head, but I said “Thank you God!” When his name wasn’t called, he looked back at me somewhat hurt, I didn’t make eye contact, which is good. Then he grabbed his binder, and left. I took another deep breath.

Then Tiger-Girl (Shawna) came in and sat in his place. Shes one of my friends, but shes not goth or emo like the group, shes just normal. So were sill cool. I had a lot of classes, and I swear in just about every class the teacher came up to me and shoved a paper in my face and said either “You need to get your parents to sign this by ___” or “This needs to be filled out and turned in by __”

Finally, I went to a class that I knew I didn’t have to freak out in, Gym. I have already been in that class, with the same teachers, so it was all good. I found out I have Tobi and Cold-Blood in gym, along with Tiger-Girl and her flock. aka

Herself (Shawna) Shalondra, Amari, and Ashley. Ashley just shut up when I was around, I freaked her out, But now this group had two new people. I would like to call the one I have actually met The-unknown.

After I went to my electives, we went to lunch! yay! But there was no outside time today, because. . . . My teacher has assigned seats and TWO, just two fucking guys!!, Just two guys, Decided to be lazy and not find their seat!! So the whole fucking dumb ass class got the mother fucking stupid ass outside time taken away from them!! YAY! (Note : Sarcasm)

At lunch, I found out that my Ten bucks for lunch money fell out of my pocket or was stolen, and that ten bucks was for this whole fucking week!! So I just sat down, Tiger-Girl sat next to me, she was the only person I knew during lunch.

Yes, we still have assigned seat in class, and assigned tables at lunch!!! Mother fucking, stupid ass, gay, mean, punk ass, bitch faced, not-cool-enough-to-suck-smurf-ass  ~which always taste like blueberries~ teachers!

I got kind freaked when B.T.boy got confused about what table he was to sit at, and came over to mine and was about to sit in the seat right in front of me, but thank the lord when the teacher came up and told him what table he was to be at.

Then the schools cop came over to our table. . . and sat down. He started talking. . . . to me. I stared at him so hopefully he wouldn’t talk to me

“Am I bothering you or something?”

“Um, no not really I just don’t like cops.”

“Oh, is there a reason for that?”

I chuckled and said “I guess not.”

“What with the gloves? are they like a Micheal Jackson tribute?”

I paused.

“No. Why?”

“Micheal Jackson used to wear glove like that but they were in black leather, Did you know that?”

I paused again, and Thought ‘Should I tell him that I knew it, or should I say that I didn’t know and act surprised?’

“I didn’t know that.”

“Oh, well now you know. So, why don’t you like cops?”

“I don’t know, they aren’t exactly easy to talk to and they are grown ups.”

“Oh, well I like cops, haha, I am one!”

‘was that supposed to be funny’ I thought

I chuckled. I guess he was going to keep on talking to me for the year so I would find out that all cops aren’t horrible.

“And seriously, Don’t think of me as a adult, think of me more as a big kid.” He laughed.

I sighed. “Oh god! You sound like my dad!” We both laughed. After some small chat with the others at the table, He left.

I told one of my teachers that I was related to my brother, Cody, and she loves me now. And in that same teachers class actually, the Cop came in the class room and sat in a seat about three desks behind me and one desk to the left. He waved at me going out of the class room, I guess I have to watch what I’m saying and what I’m doing at all times, I could end up cussing someone out and he just magically pop up! Wow wow wubzeyz that would be freaky! Maybe I should be friend the cop so I can get away with stuff. . .

Darkside: Good idea Sam.

Me: I know.

The day ended well, I ended up being a little over releaved, that I was going home. And ended up talking to a sixth grader. She is a prep, and she came up to me while I was sitting down in the gym.

“Is this the bus line for ___ (Bus number there)” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Hi. Do you ride bus#here?” She asked.

“I took a deep breath and muttered “Yeah.”

“So. . . . Why are you wearing those gloves?” She asked.

“Because I want to and because they go with my outfit, its black and red, but you can’t see because I have a jacket on.” I said. “your in sixth grade right?”

“Yup, how’d you know?”

“Lets see, I have never seen you around and you asked me for help finding your bus, meaning that you don’t know where your going meaning that your confused just like every other sixth grader. And you look to young to be in seventh grade.” I babbled, guessing that everything went over her head.

“Oh! What grade are you in?” She asked.

“Eighth.”

“Really? I thought you’d be like, well, in seventh. . .”

“Nope.” I spoke before looking to see if I could find anyone I knew. Zack! My ex-stalker!
Thats fine! He will have to do, I stared at him until I caught eye contact, then I threw up a peace sign, he returned it, Then he started mouthing stuff from across the room. I couldn’t understand.

I motioned for him to come over to me. He did.We started talking until I had to go, then I jumped up and raced for the front of the bus line, While walking to the bus, I saw Mr. Yancy, The teacher Cody knows aka Ms. Peters, and I saw the Cop. I said goodbye to all of them and I gave a small chat with the Cop.

“Peace dude.” I spoke while walking. He caught up with me,

“So how was the first day?”

“Not the worst hell on earth, but still hell.”

“What happened?”

“I ended up loosing ten bucks, ended up finding out that I have barely any classes  with my friends, and I have already been brought to drama central with my friends and helping them out and per pressure and stuff.”

“Oh, well bye.” He spoke before he stopped walking and Let me get on the bus. The sixth grader prep saw me and watched me, walk all the way to the back of the bus.

“Hey Quake, (like earth quake) you gotta move your bag.” I said, he did, and I sat, with him, in the very last seat, just like every other regular school day. The sixth grader looked impressed. She better be.

Peace out dude,

Samantha

(Psychopath)

(you: Is that possible? me: *sigh*)

anyway good bye, just wanted everyone to know my good @$$ news!!!

TA DA!

good bye

Peace sucka!

da da da da, da da da da , BATMAN!

bye,

Samantha !